a sign?

I have been sick for six weeks.

A little history - I don't get sick very often - sometimes a cold/flu, but very seldom. And while I am obese, I have no chronic health issues. Blood pressure and cholesterol good, etc.

Six weeks ago I started to cough. It progressed, but being a microbiologist, I knew my body could fight whatever was attacking me if I gave it rest, fluid, and nourishment. But it kept getting worse to the point where I would pass out. Literally. Out of bed, at the couch, didn't matter. And I had two black eyes, two bumps on my head, and a gash on my nose to prove it.

So I went to the doctor - to the diagnosis of pertussis. Whooping cough. Seriously? Who gets that? Aren't we vaccinated? So I was in isolation for 5 days, and on meds for those 5 days. Day 6 showed no improvement, and I was due to take a trip, so I went back. The girl who only goes to the doctor for check ups was on visit number 2. Doctor number 2 told me that this would take a while to heal. Did xrays, blood work, all perfect. Bronchitis. Due to thet stress of the coughing. Here, take these steroids for 9 days, here are some pills to help you sleep. See ya.

The steroids while I took them did make me feel better, able to breathe. But I continued to cough, pass out. UGH.

So here I am in week SIX of this horrific cough. This week I've had several days of coughing to the point of vomitting. And this morning, sitting on the couch watching the morning news, I started coughing, reached for a glass of water, and next thing I knew, there was water all over the computer, my lap, the couch, and floor.

When I pass out, it's like I'm having a siezure they say. (Those who have witnessed it.) I start shaking, mumbling, and then just pass out. As I start to come to, I feel confused, and am typically speaking, although not always making sense. This, to say it honestly, scares the crap out of me.

My mother died of complications from COPD and congenital heart failure at the age of 76. For much of my adult life, I listened to her cough, and watched her struggle for breath. The cough I have sounds JUST like that. And that scares me like no one understands. I am trying to focus on the fact that all the tests have come back great. That I wasn't a smoker. But when I hear myself sounding just like she did for all those years, how can I not be scared?

Last night I dreamt of my mom. She came to me and healed me. I pray nightly, but have only in the last week started asking for my own healing. So last night when mom came to me in my dreams, and took away my sickness, it brought me peace. But I woke up sick. I know it won't go away over night. What did that dream mean? Do I have what mom had? Or was she coming to me to assure me I don't?

Either way - I have vowed to change what is going on. I sit on the couch, coughing, etc. I have not done anything to give my body the tools it needs to heal. I'm not eating well. I'm not exercising. I'm using the cough as my excuse. No more. I am going to do all that I can naturally to help my body heal. Eating well, doing small amounts of exercise. I'm not going to overdue it. I know that I am sick. But I also know I've not given my body a fighting chance, and it's time I do that.