bummed

Sunday was our 17th wedding anniversary. It was a beautiful fall day, and in line with my life change, I asked if we could go hiking - on a bluff near our home. A bluff within 10 minutes, that I'd never hiked!

We spent a wonderful afternoon tromping through the woods, loving the fresh air, and the smell of the woods. All along, I snapped pictures of the guys (we made DS go too!), some they were aware of, some they weren't.

At the end, my hubby suggested we take a picture of the two of us - being our anniversary. Excited to do it - after a 40+ lb weight loss - I agreed.

I was very disappointed by the picture. While I can see changes, I am still SO large, and the oversized clothes that don't fit didn't help the picture at all.

So I was bummed to say the least.

Patience.

I need patience.

..in the mirror...

Even though I am down 41 pounds, and have had multiple friends comment on how I look, I have not seen enough of a change when looking in the mirror to feel I actually looked different. Even though I've gone down a pant size, I still am large enough that when looking in the mirror, I am the same.

until today

Today I took a solo road trip to see my daughter. And on the way home, I stopped for a break, and upon walking out of the bathroom, went past a floor length mirror and saw the change.

It was a bizarre moment.

As I stared at myself, I saw a totally different shape. VERY different. I'm amazed I hadn't noticed before.

I actually look like a very overweight person who has lost a lot of weight. You know, THAT look - I can't describe it, but I see so many changes happening now! I stared at myself - from all angles - for a couple of minutes. Even though I was in my big old baggy clothes, I looked so much better.

And I needed that.

GO ME~!

Progress???

I have purposely not weighed myself lately because I feel like I've not been good. We have been traveling a lot - so we've eaten out, etc. Now granted, what is "not good" now is no where near where I used to be.

I am also not working as much, so my daily walks are less frequent. And while my plan is to do the elliptical, or walk, on non-working days, we've been so busy I have not.

So needless to say, I've been scared to get on the scale. Last night I realized that if I don't know that I'm going backwards, I need to know, so I can adjust my lifestyle!

So I hopped on the scale, and found that I've gone over the 40 pound weight loss mark! I'm down 41 pounds. I could not believe it. Even though I know that as you build muscle, you begin to burn calories faster, and this SHOULD happen, I completely doubted myself.

I am so excited....so very excited.....

The next challenge

I've been working 5-6 days a week at the store in town, walking to and from work, and being very physical there. So I know that lifestyle change was the jumpstart for my weight loss. I am finally down to only 2 days a week, which puts me at home for 5.

My new challenge is to NOT fall into an unhealthy lifestyle at home. I need to stay active on days when I'm not walking to work. I need to keep lifting weights, and doing cardio. I need to treat my body the way it deserves!

So here's to the new challenge! Down over 30 lbs so far, let's continue~

gotta love it

I am very excited to be back to LOVING movement. Back in college, when I lost a large amount of weight, it was because I found the me that LOVED movement. I began lifting weights, swimming, walking, playing racquetball, all of those amazing things that involved movement.

I'd lost that person in the last 15 years. Post babies, the only movement I got for the most part, was cleaning house and cooking. Not good.

But as my loyal followers know, I've begun to renew that mover. And today is a great example. I'm building a small retaining wall behind my garden, and I had to move a large amount of block from the truck in the front to the garden in the back, And it felt SO GOOD. I love feeling my muscles working, and not being out of breath.

oh, it's so good. :-)

feeling the changes

Each morning that I walk to work, I watch the morning news and have coffee until I have to leave. But yesterday, as I was sitting on the couch, I thought to myself "why not leave early and walk a longer route to work?" And I did!  I ended up taking a 30 minute walk on the way to work. I love that my mind works differently now. I cherish those walks, taking in the sights, sounds, and smells of this beautiful fall. It was a great way to start the day!

And of course, I feel the changes my body is going through every day. This morning as I walked with my son, I can feel my muscular legs working. I feel it, and it feels WONDERFUL. It's not just about loose clothing. It's about feeling my body working as a well-oiled machine. One that is being USED not left to rust!

life after disclosure

So in my past, every time I've "announced" or told people of my weight loss, I've ended up going backwards, and giving in. I'm trying very hard to keep up my new lifestyle right now. I don't know why I always ambush my efforts after people start to notice, but I am very aware that I do that, and am trying to ward it off.

This weekend I had a couple of bad meals - out with the hubby Friday night - and again Sunday afternoon at a festival. But I did do a lot of walking, which is great. Even made the choice Friday to walk to work after I had justified driving in my mind. THAT is a big win for me.

What I really notice - is that I feel so much worse on "bad" eating days. The bad-for-you foods weigh me down literally. I feel sluggish. No energy. I feel much better when I eat well, drink lots of water, and get exercise. DUH. right? It's what we all know. But yet we continue to fall into bad habits!

So today I'm back on the wagon, so to speak, having my Quaker Oat Squares and coffee this morning, getting ready to walk to work. Looking forward to an active day. A GOOD-FOR-ME day.